If I Could Turn Back Time...

Maybe then I would have taken the time to update my blog with several small entries instead of this large one. Enjoy.

Well needless to say, several things have happened since you last took a peek into my personal thoughts. I've been doing my best not to think because, like the song I Am Loco by Ill Niño, "...I've been thinking and thinking always gets me into trouble...". I could continue with the rest of that, eh, stanza I suppose you could call it, but it doesn't have much to do with anything else I'll be saying and might scare the children. Now, where to start...

• June 8th: Prom - It was ok, I had more fun going out to eat at Denny's after though. You can't fight the delicious power of Belgian Waffles.
• June 10th: Graduation - Long and boring. Cook out at my house after, Ashleigh came over and I made her watch Joe's Apartment for the first time while eating an Oreo Ice Cream Cake. Delicious.
• June 10th - June 11th: All Night Graduation Cruise - Not as fun as it sounds. The ship was beautiful, the music was much better than prom's, but certain people decided that it would be fun to get on my nerves and be jerks. I ran away with Davey-kun to hide with Monica and Tyler.
• June 11th - Somewhere around the of the month: I was deathly ill, causing me to miss Sean's party.
• Sometime in July: Tyler's graduation party! First bit of fun I've had involving graduation. There were cookies and chips and tons of soda. We all goofed off in her living room. Twas most awesome. We stole Tyler away from her own party after and went out. Ate somewhere...Don't remember where though.
• July 8th: Heather and David's graduation party at Greely Park! Heather told me that they were now officially engaged. Everything was great until David and Jay went to the grill to light it. They hadn't even gotten the match in when the grill blew up and got David's face. I am pleased to report that, apart from a few blisters on his face, David is alive and well.
• July 11th: Went to my interview at the community college and became best friends with the woman I spoke to.
• Like two weeks ago: Ashleigh was in a car accident. I am pleased to report that, apart from some slight neck discomfort, she is alive and well.
• July 18th: I go to the community college to take my placement exam while Ashleigh goes to Rhode Island for hers.
• July 24th: Ashleigh e-mails me and tells me that Tyler and Davey-kun are now dating! Hurray!
• July 24th - ?: My friend Appy has gone camping.
• Things that don't really fit anywhere: We've been working on the new house, tearing up floorboards, painting, and packing things. Our deadline is Augusr 16th. I've been hanging out with Ashleigh at least once a week, it's fun. We bought the same lime green shoes, go us!

Now onto what you've all been waiting for, what's been going on in my love life. Dated a guy, broke up with the guy, dated another guy, broke up with said guy, dated a third guy, took a break to take care of things going on in life, he kept getting on my nerves so I left him too, and now there's another guy in my life who I am not dating. So...About guy #4...I call him Wolfy, no one else is allowed to use that nickname on penalty of death. Whatever we have in terms of a relationship has been filled with:

• Arguing
• Tears
• Anger
• Cuddling
• Joy
• Humor
• Affection
• Late Nights
• Comedy Central
• Trust
• Friendship
• Love
• Endless hours of listening to the song With You by Ill Niño

That's quite a buffet of emotions and other oddities. Despite the hardships we've been through, I can honestly say that I am truly happy with this man. He's different from other guys, it's something that I just can't explain...He gives my life purpose. I admit that it was scary at first, waking up and having him on my mind all day, but eventually one gets used to it and it becomes a sort of security blanket. I could be in the worst possible mood and he has the ability to make me forget about my problems, even if only for a little while. I guess you could say that he is my panacea, a remedy for all of my problems, whether they be internal or external. Forgive me for getting all mushy, my closest friends can tell you that I've never been one to enjoy expressing personal emotions.

My Wolfy will be leaving me, twice. On his 18th birthday, July 30th, he will be gone to New York for five days. I'll do my best to cope with his absence. His second one however, will be much more difficult. He leaves for college in Florida on August 12th, I don't know how much time I'll have to spend with him before he leaves since that's only four days before my family has to be moved into the new house. I also don't know how long it will take for either of us to get back online or how much free time we'll have once classes start. My main worry though, is that he might find someone else while he's away from me...I'm more than willing to wait 21 months for him to finish but I'll always have that fear on my mind. Perhaps it is my own human weakness and jealousy that causes me to think this way...Or maybe it's my love for him that wishes for him to be mine forever...

I shall keep you updated as the months go by. We'll start the countdown in September. Thank you for reading.