Prom snd Emo Goodness Circa 2006
- Wanting a cute date
- Not wanting to go alone so as not to look like a loser
- Claiming not to have any money even though he has a job
It's pretty ridiculous. I offered to go with him so he wouldn't be alone but if I'm not good looking enough for him then whatever. I'm not going to let his bad attitude ruin my night.
Moving on, I did some things that I admit, were pretty stupid. I'm generally fine with my appearance and accept that I'm a big girl but everything's changing. I've become sick and tired of everything, absolutely everything, ranging from my weight to how I look. To make a long story short, my self-conciousness has caught up with me and isn't letting go. I hate everything about myself and am sick of looking like this. I'm not proud to say this but I went so far as to cut myself the other night. Not on my wrists or anything, I'm not stupid enough to do things where people can see the results. I didn't do much, the sting was rather annoying but I did feel better. I hate seeing all these other skinny girls and not being able to look like them. I don't care what it takes, I'll be like that some day, even if I have to starve myself to do it.
2 Comments:
=\ Kya.. To starve yourself to look like everyone else is the stupidest thing I have ever heard you say. And usually you make total sense. I know everyone gets self consious at some point or another but still, you should use your strong will to get over it and see what is good about you. So you might be big.. Who the fuck cares? If people cannot accept you, then fuck them. I am sure even if you got skinny by any means neccessary, you would still find something wrong with yourself, everyone does, it is just human to want to change yourself. Now I am just rambling and probably not making any sense. So you can disregard this as my stupidity talking if you want. But it is up to you.
I don't care
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